One Year Back in the States

Well, here it is: the one year anniversary of my unfortunate return from Europe. At no point in the months leading up to my move, nor the time since, have I been all that happy with having had to come back to this country, and I think I still suffer from a deep sense of loss whenever the memory of my time there returns. But, to be fair, it didn't feel all that great knowing I wasn't officially welcome in The Netherlands either, but that sore spot faded quickly and ultimately no longer negatively affects my impressions of my time in Holland.

But, I'm here now, and that's reality. On one hand, trying to be positive, I can't truthfully say I haven't done alright this year. I mean, I made some friends early on (not that they're still around, but still), I've DJ'ed nine times since December, I've done a little bit of traveling, I've eventually moved in with a friend, I've finally settled on a stance on relgion that I feel is both accurate and true to my experiences, I've gotten even more into politics, I'm making really great money for the amount of time I work, I took steps towards possibly pursuing my doctorate, and of course, I'm finally in a serious relationship, which was something I had been wanting for a long time.

Still, something's just not clicking. I don't feel fulfilled OR stable, two things that as a musician are probably diametrically opposed, but still, it would be nice to have at least one or the other (preferably fulfillment). I KNOW I can't stay in Atlanta for much longer and thus am currently weighing my options for moving. Ultimately, I'm not growing enough...I'm stagnating, and that has to change. This might require everything from a change of location or career to a change in lifestyle, but what the exact combination of these elements is, I'm not sure.

So, one year later, I'm still tired of America, and you better believe that were I to be given a good opportunity to move back to Europe (especially The Netherlands or Belgium), I would do it in a heartbeat. No joke.