My Atheism (Part I)

I have thus far tip-toed around the subject of my religious beliefs on this blog, but I guess it's time now that I just come out with it. My religious journey has been a bit strange over the years, but if I were to be totally objective about it, I suppose it was at times predictable and certainly gradual:

Although I was raised as a generally non-denominational Protestant, my parents were never horribly zealous themselves, so had it not been for me, I might never have become super religious at any point. As it turns out though, at a weekend retreat in 9th grade I decided I wanted to become really devout, and that was the end of the story as far as high school was concerned. I mean, despite my growing struggle with the issues of guilt and grace, I was still REALLY religious (and known as such) for the vast majority of my high school years.

Then, starting the Summer before I went to college, my five-year relationship began with a girl who was a more reasonable Christian than myself, and as such she helped me to chill out. In fact, this was so much the case that early on we were both worried this was the main reason we were together. Regardless, by the time undergrad was done, I had drifted from an active church life, and although I still considered myself Christian, it got to the point where she told me I wasn't fit to be the spiritual leader she needed for her children, so I guess I ended up taking the "chilling out" process further than she had wanted...

Anyway, as everyone knows, my graduate years in Indiana were part of a really important growing period for me, and as such, I very quickly eschewed all but a quiet yet abiding belief that the Christian god was real but necessarily a good bit different from how most Christians imagined him to be. This said, I was essentially just apathetic about religion and atheism, most-likely due to a sense that I had bigger areas in which to grow than those that concerned my metaphysical and philosophical beliefs.

To be continued in my next post...